Raising three boys comes with its share of learning to get along and developing a process to deal with conflict. It’s kind of funny to think of conflict in terms of preparing for it, but it’s wonderful how a “conflict process” eases strain on relationships. A process Heather has taught the boys helps train their hearts while confronting conflicts in honest and humble ways. She calls it “Four Things”. I’m not sure where it came from, but it’s an excellent application for worship teams. When an offending brother causes conflict Heather says, “say four things.” The boys know the process and what they need to say…
1) “I was wrong.”
2) “I should not have [fill in the offense here].”
3) “What I should have done was…”
4)” Will you forgive me?”

We will have conflict, there’s no getting around that. But when wounds turn to bitterness because of unresolved conflict, that’s when teams (or families, or organizations) start to loose forward momentum, eventually loose influence and fall apart.
Humility is earned through confession and making things right. Mercy and forgiveness flow most easily to the humble.
Next time you’re in the middle of a conflict, have a healthy process in place to deal with it before it spins out of control. Don’t be afraid to “say four things”.